Part 1

Here is part one of my investigation into facial hair and political power. The second part will look at tyrant's with baby faced complections. The third part will examine U.S Presidents and the relationship between hair and greatness.

DOES FACIAL HAIR = EVIL TYRANT

Some in the media have claimed that a world leader with facial hair,
especially a moustache, is bound to be an evil monster. Armed with this
assumption I set out to discover if this was indeed the case. The
results were intriguing.

Don't include me in this

Top 5 Despot Moustaches

Moustache Power Ratings explained - * - Victorian Dad
**** - 1970's Porn Star
*** - Village People
** - Spanish Hairdresser
* - Bum Fluff

1. Josef Stalin -

come and have a go if you think you're hard enough

1879-1953

AKA 'Man of Steel', 'Koba'

The George Formby loving Stalin drank a bucket of vodka a day, refused
his wages and won the war of annihilation with Nazi Germany. Never one
to rest on his laurels, Koba set the Cold War in motion too.

Dictatorship- 29 years
Genocide Rating - 50 million
Evil Rating - 10
Moustache Power - 5

Interesting Fact - Stalin's second wife committed suicide after a dinner
party where Uncle Joe had repeatedly threw bits of bread at her
demanding she drink more vodka.

2. Adolf Hitler -

i never loved eva braun

1889-1945

AKA 'Der Fuhrer'

The mono-testicled Charlie Chaplin clone started the Second World War,
exterminated 6 million jews and gave Stalin a run for his money before
topping himself in his bunker with his new missus Eva.

Dictatorship - 12years
Genocide Rating - 35 million
Evil rating - 10
Moustache Power - 3

Interesting Fact - Deapite his popularity with right wing W.A.S.P types,
Hitler was a good Catholic boy.

3. Saddam Hussein -

the mother of all rifles

1937-200?

AKA 'Great Uncle'

The Butcher of Baghdad is about to have his moment of truth as the
American led forces attempt to oust him from power. In his 24 years of
power in Iraq he has started two wars, gassed his own people and killed
and tortured countless others.

Dictatorship - v 24 years [so far]
Genocide rating - 2 million
Evil rating - 9
Moustache Power - 4

Interesting Fact - Saddam's hero is Stalin, which explains the big
moustache and the habit of waving rifles about any time he is in front
of a big crowd.

4. Francisco Franco -

We're going to Ibiza

1893-1975

AKA 'El Caudillo' ('The Leader').

The Spanish fascist leader wimped out of World War 2 in order to
concentrate on developing a tourist economy. Led the Nationalist forces
during the Spanish civil war and allowed his pals Hilter and Mussolini
to try out their new weapons on the Spanish people.

Dictatorship - 39 years
Genocide Rating - 35,000
Evil Rating - 6
Moustache Power - 1

Interesting Fact - Franco was the longest reigning pre-WW2 fascist
leader in history, dying in his bed in 1975

Augusto Pinochet -

I've a terrible cold coming on

1915-200?

Slippery Chilean cad who seized power as the head of a military Junta.
Many innocents fell victim of his Caravan of Death and were disappeared.
Finally removed from office by public vote in 1988.

Dictatorship - 14 years
Genocide Rating - 3,197
Evil Rating - 5
Moustache Power - 2

Intersting Fact- Mrs Thatcher paid Pinochet a number of visits to his
London abode whilst he was avoiding extradition by pretending to be ill
and mad.